Ride Whore

I haven't been to a Disney property in years, but I used to go all the time. Honestly, I really like theme parks. I really like rides. A media critic (Douglas Rushkoff, maybe?) once said that what makes a theme park successful is the feeling that it's all "for you". Not that it's an idealized version of Main Street, or the Future, or a Frontier town, but instead that a whole world has been created entirely for your enjoyment -- that someone sat down and figured out every little detail of every space to such a degree that a comfortable eogcentric zone emerges, the likes of which you are unlikely to encounter in your everyday life. The "escapism" is fake -- no one believes they are really on a Jungle Cruise. The pleasure derives from the fact that someone created an audio animatronic elephant to amuse you.

Or, at least, that was the concept.

I definitely felt that feeling when I was 7 or 8 and going to Disney World for the first time. The sheer wonderment at the scope of everything. But it's dissipated.

Of course, you're all thinking, "Well, Geoff, you are 20 years older now." But that's not really it -- instead, the quality of American theme park rides has dropped significantly. What makes a theme park special is the little things you don't get at a roller-coaster emporium like Six Flags. The sense of "for you"-ness is missing. Go the MGM Studios and ride the low-rent Rock and Roller Coaster and you'll see what I mean. Clearly, the Accounting department designing that one with an Excel spreadsheet. There's nothing about it that seems ostentatious and over-the-top, which is exactly what you in the middle of a Florida swamp to get. Walk 30 yards over, however, and you get the Tower of Terror. The height of for youness. An attraction that revels in mood, nuance and artistry before you even get on the ride. The first time you ride it, you can't help but be overwhelmed by the sheer audacity of what happens to you (which, I won't spoil for those of you who haven't partaken.) Unfortunately, most rides (Universal, I'm looking at you, too!) fall into the former category.

But...there is sunshine on the horizon:



John Lasseter. Seriously -- if you are unfamiliar with this man, remember his name. He is the Walt Disney of this generation.

He was pretty much employee 001 at Pixar and is their chief creative -- so he directed Toy Story 1 and 2 and A Bug's Life and worked closely on every other films they've made. His storytelling chops are impeccable. It's hard to find an extraneous plot point, a klunky line, or an emotion that doesn't ring true in any film he's worked on. With Disney's aquistion of Pixar, Lasseter is now Disney's "top creative officer". Businessweek recounts the recent Disney meeting where he was introduced:

As he bounded onto the stage in his traditionally downscale attire -- jeans, an untucked Hawaiian shirt, and blue blazer -- he got a rock star reception. "Oh, stop it," he shouted, and then, pointing to his black sneakers, joked that he had dressed up for the occasion.

But when he began talking about animated films, the mood was half comedy show, half revival meeting. "Quality is a great business plan," Lasseter said to more cheering.

Quality is a great business plan, John. I just hope with Disney's acquisition, this notion will go beyond the animated film world. Oh, wait. Someone smart at the Mouse thought of that:

And the applause got louder when the former guide on Disneyland's Jungle Cruise announced that he will also be designing rides for Disney's theme parks. "I will make rides that you will want to get back on as soon as you get off, no matter how long the line," he promised.

Literally, I am giddy at the thought. Could you imagine if a ride makes you feel the way Toy Story 2 did?

(chills...)